Goals for 2018 - Reading, Blogging and Life Changes

Yesterday i shared my Reflections or review or... what ever call it what you want, i rambled on about the difficulty that was 2017 and how i learned that i don't want or can work with overly specific goals. 

Going with that knowledge i am trying to keep it shorter and broader. (didn't really work! Still have a way to long list... oh well i tried?)

Lets go:

I already shared two goals for that on my BookTube Channel, so i am just going to list those and if you want to hear details please go there (SELF PROMOTION 😉 )
-  6 Authors i want to read more books from 

- Read 40 books
Yeah thats a big difference between 2017 and this year. A 160 books difference. 
And its not that i don't want to read more than 40 books. 
I actually hope to read way more than that. 
BUT last year i felt incredibly pressured to read when i had other things going on. Life was busy in 2017 and while i didn't do a huge amount of things, but i was just busy and while i did read a lot i didn't read 200 books. So with every book i finished i felt like i HAD to read more and more. And the more i felt that way the less i felt like reading. 
Now its completely my own fault. 
Why do i feel pressured by numbers?
I have no idea. 
Its stupid. 
But it did and i felt so disappointed with me when i just knew i could not read the number i set for myself. 
I already said its stupid. It is. I know that. 
But it was just yet another thing that didn't work and i didn't manage to do as i wanted to do it. 
It just added yet another thing i felt bad about. 
So needles to say i am NOT doing that to myself again. 
I am going with a very easy achievable number that i know i will get read no matter what 2018 throws at me. 
And if i read more?
But at least i know right from this moment on that i will not have this nagging and constant voice in the back of my head that tells me i am once again not doing what i said i would. 

That was a really long and rambly way to say:
I don't want an actual challenge this year with the number of books i am going to read. I just want to read and have fun and count but without challenging myself. 
So that is what i am doing. 

- Read what ever i want to read. 
In 2017 i felt a good amount of pressure to read new releases, to review them, to be able to know what other people where talking about, to just be on top of new releases. 
At the same time i had other things i wanted to read. So it just added books over books to my "want to read right now" list and even a good amount of books i actually was only interested in because of other people and what they said about it. 
I don't want to do that this year. 
I want to read what i feel like reading. 
If i want to spend an entire month or two or three or maybe even the entire year re-reading?
If i only want to read new releases. 
Perfect. thats fine too. 
While i plan to continue making at least seasonal to read lists for myself, but at the same time i don't want to feel restricted in that. 
So even if i say i will be reading something if i no longer feel like reading it even a day after saying i want to read it?
Sorry. But i am not reading that. 

- Actually Reading my Review books in a more timely manner:
Okay this might seem like its a contractionary goal with the one i just shared. 
But its not. 
Just because i want to finally be more on top of the books i get for free to review, and actually review them not at least three months after i got them. 
If i request them i am interested in reading them. So when i get them, i should do that and not let them pile up. 
And also no longer pressures me into reading 10 books right one after the other because i notice that i am yet again behind in the worst way and NEED to read them. 
If i stay more on top of them right away, that makes it so much easier to be able to actually read each of the books when i want to read them, not when i feel like i HAVE to read them. 
We'll see how that goes. 

And lastly:
- Read lots of Library Books and buy less books
I LOVE libraries. 
I am not just saying that. 
I actually do. 
I love that it offers the option of getting books that i have no idea if i will enjoy it or not, and not feeling guilty about it because i didn't buy it. 

The is also the fact that the library i use for physical books is down the street. Not kidding, i just have to walk down the street to get from where i live to the library. If that is not a good reason to use Library regularly what is?

I also just love having a place where i can browse books -be it online through overdrive or the actual library building- getting what ever i want and NOT HAVING TO PAY. 
I did use my library a good amount especially during the second half of 2017 but it just reminded me just how much i enjoy it. 
So i am hoping and planing to do that even more in 2018.

- Get back into it.
It basically says it all. 
I am not setting myself a specific number of posts i want to do per week or months or throughout the year. 
I just want to finally get back to it. 
I want to go back to writing more regularly and sharing on here regularly. 
So i guess my actual goal is Regularity.
What exactly that means? 
No idea yet. 
I have to see how this year goes. 
If its anywhere similar to 2017 i can't plan what is going to happen anyway!
Thats why i am saying i want to get back into it, i want to finally post again, want to share again and at the same time i want to only do it when i have the energy doing it. 
So we'll see how regular it is going to be without a specific plan. 
Who knows?
Maybe its going to be what i need to not feel the pressure and with that lack the energy to do it regularly?

- Find a balance between Booktube and Book blogging
This should be easy. 

And it should not be something i should struggle with. 
But i am.
In the worst way. 
If i finally do one more regularly?
The other completely falls off my radar. 
And the moment i decide i am going back to doing both... nothing is being done. 
Why is that?
Because as soon as i feel like i HAVE to, my illness starts acting up even worse because i am pressuring myself. Pressure and my illness?

In 2018 i want to finally find a balance, one that doesn't make me feel pressure. One that just makes me feel good about finding a way to combine the two in a way that works for me personally. 
Maybe it will make no sense to anyone else?
If that will be the case, sorry but i do not care. 
If it works for me?
And i feel good about it?
Perfect. Thats what i was looking for and what i want to achieve. 

OR if i notice throughout this year that i actually really don't miss doing either blogging or making videos or enjoy one way more than the other? Or just generally automatically do one more than the other? Thats clearly a sign that the other one is not working for me as i was hoping it would and i am going to end the one that is not working to take the pressure of myself that simply having the blog or the youtube channel gives me. 

- Comment
This one is actually simple. 
If i read something or watch something?
I want to comment. 
Just say something. 
If i watch a video and simply say: Great video.
Good. I commented.
If i read a blog post and only say: Nice post.
I LOVE getting comments. 
I love hearing what people have to say about/to what i am saying. 
For one because it makes me feel a little less like i am shouting into and empty hole where nobody hears me or cares. 
And i also think that in many ways it shows that somebody actually appreciated that you sat down and did what you did -write a post, film a video, took a picture on instagram.
If i see something what ever that might be i want to finally write a comment even if its just two words. Its not hard. Its super easy and take seconds! If i take the time to read or watch something for at least 10 minutes i can take 2 seconds to comment!

- Try not to feel stressed about it
Its for fun!
Its for -mostly- myself. 
I love hearing from anyone that might actually be reading this or watching my videos. 
And i love getting comments but at the same time its just a hobby. 

But lets be real here that i am not one of those huge people on the internet that can life from their channel or blog. I would love to and i appreciate the people that are able to do it for a living, i respect them SO much! 
But i am not. 
Back to what i am trying to say:
I am not living off my blog or youtube channel. its for fun. And it is fun. 
So it should be fun. 
Not stress, or pressure or feel like "But i still have so much to do!" or "i haven't posted in... so have to..."
It should feel fun and easy and be a stress-reliever not a stress-maker. 

I am going to try that, to treat it like an actual hobby and for fun and as something that is easy and fun and nothing else. 

And once again. If i continue to feel pressure and stress and not have this excitement back that i had when i started it all... maybe i have to face the music and be realistic and say that i am not someone that sees doing blogging as a hobby. And if i don't go hard-core and do it full time it doesn't work for me. 
Might sound stupid or overdramatic for some people. 
BUT i am like that a lot. I am more often than not the "all or nothing" kind of person. (which leads to a lot of "nothing")

We'll see. 
Lets say that a few more times in this post!

And the actual real last thing:

I am only mentioning this because there are a lot of changes happening: 

I am starting at least two jobs in 2018. 
I wish i was joking. 
I am not. 
Or that both of them would be part time so that its one full time job in total. 
No. Sadly No. 

I can not wait to see how i will feel health wise when that is going on. 

But it has to happen and so it is going to happen. 

I hope its "only" going to be two things. 

It might have to be more. I have to see how it goes. 
There are a lot of reasons for that that i will not talk about here because that is not what this blog is about and i am not sure yet if i actually want to share that part of my life on the internet. 

I am only sharing it because it is going to mess up my reading time in the biggest way. 
Its also one of the reasons a lot of the goals i shared here are all about "take it easy, no pressure, what ever i feel like, when i want to, we'll see what is going to happen, i might stop this or that..." because i have no idea how much else i will actually be able to get done beside what i HAVE to do. 

So everything i am doing for fun is sadly going to take a bit of a backseat and I have to see what is going to happen. 

Which is fine. Its all good. Like i said, life happened in 2017, things changed stuff happened and just because a year ends, the bad sadly doesn't stop and disappears. 

There also will be a lot of other changes and things i am working towards throughout 2018 that has nothing at all to do with books and sharing books. 

Overall i hope that i will find reading, blogging and filming and generally just talking about books on the internet as a way to help me relax, find the "me-time" and with that share more regularly and maybe hopefully connect with other people simply by taking a handful of minutes to share a little something instead of just ignoring it all and than feeling bad about it afterwards. 

Looking back at this list i am kind of feeling already as if i am going to fail pretty badly at this. 

But at the same time maybe not?
Maybe this slight structured but at the same time not overly detailed and planned out to the second goals will work for me?

If you made it to the end of this?
I love you. 

 I wish you a fantastic 2018 and that all your dreams and wishes and goals and resolutions will come true, that your work will pay off and you get what you want. 

And that is it. 

Until the next post!

See you later,  you lovely book people


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