Reflecting on 2017 - Reading, Blogging, Life

Honestly the only think i positive i have to say about 2017 is:

I mean it was not very worst year i ever had. 

Which either is really sad because it was not a good year AT ALL. 
Or ... yeah i have no idea what else it is other than sad. 

I am actually not being negative simply to be negative. 

In 2017 I lost a family member very suddenly. 
My family had a huge scare with a heart attack of another member.
Yet another member had to have a heart surgery because of a discovered defect that nobody knew about how that is going to work out... 
Stuff didn't work out, things went wrong all over the place...

and on top of that my illness is at its worse it has been for the last 15 years i have been suffering through it. 

Lets just say that overall? 
2017 kicked my butt!

I am not sharing this here to simply complain. 

I honestly just saying this here to say that i am happy i survived that year as i did. 

And that 2018 will bring big changes in all kinds of ways. 

Also so that you guys know already that 2017 goals or resolutions or what ever you want to call the list of things we make each year simply to fail at them. 

Or is that just me????

Being negative again... Sorry

Lets just get started with summarising the stuff i wanted to do in 2017 and what i actually did or didn't do with them. 

Reading Goals:
- Read through Europe
- Read 200 books
- Participate in Read-a-thons
- read classics
- re-read more books
- request less review books
- read a good mixture of different genres and don't get suck in a specific one
- re-read harry potter
- complete two reading challenges
- read and review at least a couple of books 

Blogging/Booktube goals:

- Post regularly
- start to have connections with people from the book-world in the inter-webs

Lets start with the stuff i did to (because thats faster)

- participate in a read-a-thon
I only did this because i did participate in two before everything started to go down hill in early April '17 and i did not give myself a number so technically i completed this goal since i did participate and i actually also made a vlog for the borrow-a-thon in march '17 so i am counting that!

- read classics
I did read 10 (?) classics. It really completely depends on what exactly counts as a classic for you personally, for me i read 6 even though other books i read are listed as classics on goodreads but i wouldn't categorise them that way. No matter i still finally gone back to reading some classics and i love that i did because i love reading them so i hope i will continue reading some through 2018.

- read a good mixture of different genres
i read classics, non-fiction, adult, ya, children, comic/graphic novels, literary fiction, magical realism, historical fiction... i did actually really without any question completed this goal! YAY for me!

- re-read Harry Potter
Jupp did that. I read book 5, 6 and 7 in the first two months, and than picked up 1,2 and 3 after the illustrated edition of book 3 came out in october. I also started reading book 4 in december and even though i didn't complete that book in 2017 it counts, okay? I read 6 out of 7 books and halfway through the last one i have not re-read so that for me counts as having done this! Lets not get to picky! (will never ever have completely any if we get to technical on the details here!)

Kinda completed: 

- read through europe
I did read 10 or so books set in europe and by european authors. So in a way i did complete this. But at the same time i didn't read the amount of European authors i was hoping to read. I just want to support and read more books in a setting that is more similar to me personally as a European. So i kinda completed this goal because while i did read a good amount of european based and written books they are not the amount i want to have read. 

- read and review at least a couple of books
I reviewed almost all the books i read on goodreads. 
I did not review even a single book on here and didn't do nearly enough reviews on my Booktube channel. 
Does that count as done or not? Lets just go with kinda. 

NOT completed at all: 
- read 200 books 

I decided on that number because i read 240+ books in 2016 without even trying. And that might sound stupid but i actually didn't really count the number of books in 2016 i just added them to goodreads and that site told me the total i read that year. I decided that because i didn't have a problem reaching that number again. 
Yeah.. no. 
I got to 174 says goodreads. My personal count is at 182? Not sure which one is right or wrong. Goodreads finally let us add re-reads during the middle of 2017 at some point so i am guessing that the number differences comes from that. 

- re-read more books
i mean i kinda did that. Maybe i should have added it to that list. BUT since i personally feel like i did not re-read enough. Since i am going with what i am personally feeling its going into the fail section. 
I just love re-reading books so much and since getting involved in the internet book world it basically stopped for me. And i want to finally get back to regularly re-reading. And in my option while I re-read around 20 books in 2017 that is not enough with the number of books i read so... yeah... 

- request less review books
Lets just not talk about this!

- complete two reading challenges
Yeah no. Did not do that at all. I honestly completely forgot about this one and never looked up different challenges after looking through a few in January i never decided on which ones i might want to do and than i just got busy with other things and never looked back on this. Oh well... clearly wasn't important to me.

- post regularly

I completely failed with blogging mostly because of time issues. Other stuff was more important. Other things took priority. And if i am being honest i don't care that it did. Blogging is for fun. Real life is more important. So while i am sad that didn't do anything with the blog during 2017 at the same time i am also happy that i didn't force myself to work on it when i clearly didn't feel like it when i had a moment. I needed to focus on other things. 
And i think that is okay as well. 
On my Booktube channel i did a little better. 
I started posting almost regularly from summer on, not as much as i wanted or how much i wished i could or wanted to. But i at least tried to do a handful per month. Sometimes that worked. somtiesm it didn't. But because i didn't do it actually really regularly. yet another thing not completed.

- start to connect to other people
yeah yet another hard no. 
I didn't do anything to actually connect with more people. 
I started to comment on a few more blogs and videos but not in a way i should knowing how nice it is to read a comment. Also in my personal thoughts i wanted to do some buddy reads with new people, get to know more people a bit more deeply. Didn't do that. Didn't take the time to do that. 
Oh well.

Wrapping this up?

I didn't completely fail. 

But i also didn't succeed. 

But can i just say something here?

I LEARNED things in 2017 and from sharing this look back on my goals.

I learned anew that life is unpredictable.
Life is hard and unfair in a lot of ways and also loves throwing you stones on your feet when ever it can. 
BUT i also can manage more than i thought possible. 

I am stronger than i thought i was. 

I never thought i could survive my illness becoming even worse.
I never thought i could love my family more or enjoy it more spending time with them. 

i was wrong about that. 
I could and i love that i learned those things through the hard and difficult times. 

I also learned that i don't want overly specific goals anymore. At least not right now and at the stage i am in right now in my life. 
I just want some goals that give me an idea of what i should do throughout the entire year. 
Which is something new. 
I have been making very detailed and overly specific and thought out goals for way over 10 years. 
So figuring out that maybe that is just not what works for me and end of feeling successful? Kind of a big deal for me personally. Even if it might not sound like anything huge. 
But i learned it at some point and thats important right?

And i also learned that while i love reading and sharing it its not that important. 

I love it. 
Its fun and nice and makes me feel great to be able to share and rave and love on books or rave about books i didn't enjoy and connect with other people that read the same things i am and talk about books with them. 

BUT while its nice to have that real life is more important. 
And while its nice to know that i have this escape, its also nice to know that I can do completely without internet and everything i have been kind of drowning in for the last years. 

So while 2017 was incredibly hard, heartbreaking and nowhere near the year i wanted or expected it to be... it was also a year that thought me a lot about myself, about life and love and importance of things. 

I am really happy the year is finally over because while it felt like it was never ending it also flew by in a way that i can not believe its actually 2018 already. 

I really hope that everyone else had a much better 2017. 
That you accomplished what you wanted. 
And if you didn't that you know thats okay too. 

I wish you all a great start into 2018 and that you all get a wonderful year without any tragedy, horrible events or moments and just a nice and wonderful year. 

Bye lovely Bookworms.


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